By Kathryn E. Eriksen Turning 50 is a milestone of sorts – you survived the tumultuous teenage years, your career (or careers) has been established, and you either have a family or you enjoy an adult-oriented lifestyle. But the middle point of life (which 50 represents to me) is a time to reflect and wonder about the Game of Life. My Game of Life was defined early on. My parents believed that girls should learn to be good wives and mothers. Careers were good only until you married, then you should be totally devoted to your family. This traditional view was in direct contrast to the social changes that occurred in the sixties and seventies, when the feminist movement began to take hold. Later on, my own mother even caught the feminist fever - she went back to school for her PhD and started her own psychology practice at the age of 55! The point is that other people’s opinions of your role in life are a starting point. But when the external standard and the internal barometer don’t match, it is time to re-calibrate and re-evaluate your self. Reaching the great age of 50 has given me the freedom to throw out the old standards and look for a new definition of success. Their Game of Life no longer fits me. It was amazing revelation when I discovered that I could change the definition of success. And when the new definition fits my ideals, instead of the other way around, I am much happier. Instead of feeling inadequate or guilty because I did not earn a certain income, or have as nice a home as my contemporaries, I am free to choose what is important to me. My perspective of the importance of things has changed. I don’t care about driving a Mercedes or BMW if I have more time to pursue my own interests. Wearing designer clothes seems silly when that money could be spent on a laptop computer that allows me to work from anywhere. I have turned the corner on consumerism – my endless pursuit of stuff always ended with a brief moment of satisfaction, before unease and unhappiness moved in. Now, I ask myself if I really need that new purse when my current bag still looks great. Most of the time, the answer is no. Having shed the traditional expectations that I have religiously followed my entire adult life leaves me in a bit of a quandary. It is much easier to simply accept the standards of others, because it does not require any soul searching. But the act of acquiesce has a consequence – I do not feel connected to something greater than myself. And that sense of separation has to be healed before I may discover my own true purpose. As I recently noted in my new book, RePaint Your Life: Create a Life in Art, all of us are here to fulfill a unique purpose. Whether you are an artist or a stockbroker, your own set of unique talents and interests will point the way toward your purpose in life. And in learning that purpose, you start playing in your own Game of Life. And that is the Game that only you can win!
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