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As I prepared to go to college in the States, one of the things I looked forward to was the freedom to look at whomever I pleased. For months, I remember revelling in the luxury of it—actually walking down the halls with a big smile on my face just because I could look right at everyone I passed. I could watch the faces of those I talked to and see so many nonverbal responses to our conversation that I had been forced to miss while looking off to the side, at my hands or theirs. That was years ago. I'm still a big fan of eye contact, although I still make the conscious decision to avoid it when I am speaking with Hispanic men. I don't want to give the wrong impression. So many American women do just that and have absolutely no idea what message they were thought to have just sent.
The strangest part is that the old habit I forced upon my teenage self has the strangest way of popping up unbidden. If I happen to make casual eye contact, (usually walking past people in public) a subconscious instinct deep down often compels me to look down immediately afterward. By the time that I am actually aware of it and jerk my eyes back up, usually the person has passed or looked away.
I wonder how long that instinct will stay. I hope it doesn’t give me the appearance of lacking self-confidence or having a guilty conscience; however, I also hope that it doesn’t go away completely or it might make it difficult when I go back to visit friends and family. I wish there was a way for me to jump between cultural mores and expectations as easily and completely as I do languages.
I was glad that my life experiences were at least able to help clear up miscommunication between a terrific coach and some terrific kids.
After I explained the cultural background of my students, Coach was able to understand, not just my class, but all the bilingual classes so much better. He could better interpret their body language toward him and express his expectations of them in a way that they felt safe in responding. They were visibly more relaxed. Grasping the different viewpoint of his students made Coach a much better communicator and more effective teacher.
Translating language is easy. Translating body language is an entirely different matter.
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