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Page 3 of 4 And now that day has arrived. Time to assess if my childhood vow has come true. Do I stop my adult business long enough to listen to my ten-year-old tell me what happened in school that day? Check.
Will I get dirty making sand castles with my daughter and not think about the laundry that will have to be done later? Slight hesitation, Check.
Do I laugh more than I complain or vent? Silence. Mmmmm.
Back to the mirror. When did I become more of an adult, worried about things, instead of a child who delights in the smallest detail? Sighs escape when I realize that my focus on mundane details (errands, chores and finances) has cost me the joy of living. And that joy can only be found in Now – the present moment. One of my favorite quotes is “The only time that Eternity intersects Time is in the present moment.” Marianne Williamson wrote those words and the simplicity and elegance of their meaning still strikes a resonant chord in my soul. NOW is the only moment I have to make a difference - the past is gone and the future is not yet here. I pollute the present moment when I filter every bit of information through eyes clouded by past transgressions or events. And when I worry about something that has not yet happened, I lose touch with the beauty and wonder contained in the present moment. Turning 50 has been a time for reassessment and regrouping. It suddenly dawned on me that half of my life is over – if I am lucky to live that long! And I am finally asking that one question that must be answered – what have I done that matters? Men seem to react to this question much differently than women. They externalize and become almost frantic to live out their macho fantasies before it is too late. I don’t know this for a fact, but Harley Davidson and Corvette sales must spike every time a man turns 50 (which is every seven seconds). Men just seem to be hardwired to look to external circumstances or things to make them happy. Women seem to turn inward. Nostalgia and Kleenex become daily companions as photographs of the kids when they were young babies are placed around the house. A newborn baby elicits heart-felt coos, tinged with a wistful sadness because she will never have another baby. But just as humans adapt to changed circumstances, life provides other opportunities to be nurturing towards a young child.
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